To practice yoga is to practice connection. The asanas are a vehicle to drive me closer to my Self. The ability to progress into asanas I had only dreamed of has been a big fucking bonus physically, mentally and emotionally, thus, leading to a deeper connection of Self. Today I was tagged by @melonnn11 to #stopdropandyoga. I had an epiphany about irony and connection which led me to drawing out my Instagram post.
The reason I know @melonnn11 is because I won a scholarship to @rinayoga yoga teacher training through the #resolvetoevolve 30 day challenge on Instagram. @melonnn11 was one of the hosts. I was beyond stoked because all I had to do was post a yoga pose chosen by @rinayoga each day for 30 days, and write about what the postures represent for me and peel away the layers as I wrote. Sounds simple, right? It was. I told myself I was going to be nitty gritty raw and be as vulnerable as possible because I wanted to win this damn challenge. Bad. Sounds easy, right? It wasn't. Buttons were pushed and triggers were activated. What I was winning was the opportunity to receive greater knowledge to practice and pass on to you, from a badass yogi and yoga teacher - Rina Jakubowicz @rinajaku. So, I put myself out there for the world to read about my fears, insecurities, opportunities for growth and strengths that keep me moving forward. The world also learned more about why I am a yogi, yoga teacher and now, surfer. I won! Holy shit! For the first time, I won something that, to me, was priceless. I've believe every "thing" has a price tag. The irony is I won the teacher training, however, I will not receive the training because I can not afford the trip where the training is taking place. It does sadden me that I can not make the trip and I'll miss out on the training, however, I still consider myself a winner. The 30 day challenge represented me working toward connecting deeper. That is what I accomplished, so, in my eyes, I still won.
After 13 years in the salon world as a makeup and eyebrow artist, I left a lucrative career to pursue my passion and fulfill my soul of teaching yoga. My goal is to being able to facilitate a space for adults to feel included and connected and that is where yoga classes, yoga & surf workshops and camps all come into play. I knew it was going to be a challenge, but, fuck, it has been an up-hill battle. I pendulum between feelings of strength, being overwhelmed and stressed, and defeat. When It's all in one day, I want to tap out; but, I pull myself together and keep charging because it's what I do.
It was those feelings of defeat that lead me to recently meeting an incredible woman, Kate Brenton @wisdomofone. Kate is a limi limi practitioner and is, seriously, a gift. Jen Pastiloff @jenpastiloff is from whom I received the referral. Funny thing is, I have yet to meet @jenpastiloff, but, her energy and vibrancy is so potent from her posts and videos from Instagram and Facebook, that I feel connected to her. I instantly felt connected to Kate as well upon seeing a video of her that Jen recorded after her session with Kate. Less than 24 hours later after viewing Jen's video, I had my first session with Kate. These two beautiful souls have filled me with energy and have touched me in a way that I felt included and connected; in turn, they, helped picked me up off my ass when I've been down. Inclusivity and connection are meaning behind why I do what I do and these ladies are living it as well.
I find it interesting that my backbends have opened up drastically as of recent. This pose represents my will to bend so I don't break. My will to bend to make it over a hurdle. This backbend represents a feeling of connection. I close my eyes and open my heart and welcome in the unknown. The power of connection is electrifying when we stop and close our eyes, open our ears and hearts to giving and receiving. Connection comes through surrender and acceptance. It is through practicing yoga and surfing that I strive to connect to as many people as possible in a way that I have connected with Jen and Kate. It is a feeling. It is an instinct. It is a love without labels or judgement. I want you to know - I hear you, I open my heart to you and I believe in you. I believe in the power of connection.